Victor and George

OK, so I may have made a mistake. In receiving the second reply, I got over excited and blogged straight away. Whilst I did indeed write a reply (and post it here), I neglected to actually send it to Victor. Now, a less attentive and thoughtful man than Big V would probably have assumed that I was not fastidious enough to deserve any taxis. But not Victor. Oh no. Despite my idiocracy, he got back to me yesterday afternoon. And this time he even included some great suggestions. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present Mr Victor Uwaifo. Oh, one more thing, this email was sent at about 12:40. Bear that in mind when reading the first line:

Good morning again Dan!

We are all concerned that we don't yet have taken your adress and bank details and secret questions, and have not heard from your good self.  We are all so very keen to give you your taxis, and it hurts us here at the goverment to think that you are not able to afford your things!  And myself and my collegues have been thinking of suggestions for you to spend your taxis, in order that you might have some ideas of ways in which to spend your taxis.  for your £456.78 you could handsomely afford a new vehicle for your property or plenty of restarants or perhaps a other idea is for you to afford a holiday.  As your good and most studious self will know, we in London are friends with many countries.  Here at the Tax Refunding Bureau we often have taken our holidays to Uganda.  A splendid, upright and convivial country for your travels, and we are able to give you many discounts to splendid areas in Uganda.  In fact, in a saving of $2,456.99 dollars we can give you a holiday for two weeks in any time for only £1798.78, which including your taxis as a saving will be only about £1358 sterling for you to pay us.  Surely this is a fantastic chance for a holiday in Uganda!!!  And you imagine seeing the lions?!

if you are having your problems sending your messages to this adress then you can always contact my collegues, such as my deputy, George Akaeze with George.UK.GOV@gmail.com. As sometimes our emails stop the sending, for security.  And remember to read the security infomation at the bottom, we shouldnt want some other man with your taxis!!!

Yours Sincerley,

Victor Uwaifo

Head of Goverment Tax Refunding

London

I'm not going to bother deconstructing this one really, there's no point. It's all there for you to enjoy right off the bat. I do quickly want to say how much I enjoyed "you could handsomely afford a new vehicle for your property or plenty of restarants" and the frankly wonderful "And you imagine seeing the lions?!"

Anyway, I sent what I had written the previous day off to him, with a little bit added to explain myself. I also copied it to George Akaeze, who I am very much looking forward to hearing from. This was my reply:

Hello there Victor and George,

I wrote you an email yesterday, but my computer did not send it! I just looked now. Here is what I wrote to you, I have copied it:

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Thank you for replying to my email letter so quickly! It is good to know the Goverment Tax Refunding office is an office that replies to email letters so quickly.

As I said before, I am in the process of getting a new bank because I am just moving into London. As you are in London, I'm sure you know how difficult it is to get things done, so I am waiting to get my full address and bank and everything working! Hopefully I will have everything next week. Will my taxis still be available then, as it is not my birthday anymore?

I think I have a friend who is an accountant, so I might ask him what the best thing to do would be if I do not have a bank at the moment. Maybe you can tell me?

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Sorry I didn't send it yesterday. Uganda sounds like a wonderful place, but I don't think I can go on holiday at the moment, I am trying to find a job! Maybe sometime in the future.

Anyway, that is what I wrote to you yesterday, I hope to hear from you soon again,

Dan Beames

So, that brings everything up to date. I am hoping there will be another gem in my inbox later today. Time will tell.

db