ENTER: GEORGE AKAEZE

This afternoon, I went to Cartridge World, Caledonian Road, to do some photocopying. The friendly man that runs it left me to my own devices at the copier, trusting me to be honest when it came to telling him how many copies I had made, as usual. It was 86. That's quite a bit of copying. He is a nice man. A trusting man. A man who shares many things with a certain Victor Uwaifo, as I'm sure most of you appreciate by now.

But that was before you met Victor's right hand man. His go to guy. His brother in taxis. When I returned to my office, sitting in my inbox was a message from this man. Hold on to your seats, folks, as I have reproduced his email here - completed unedited, as always. May I present to you Mr George Akaeze:

FOA: DAN BEAMES

HELLO THERE DAN!  

FIRSTLY LET ME MENTION HOW LUCKY A MAN YOUR TO HAVE VICTOR WORKING FOR YOU TO GIVES YOU ALL OF THE TAXIS YOU NEED.  FIRSTLY ALSO I MUST MENTION HOW HAS YOUR BIRTHDAY BEEN?  WE CAN ONLY IMAGINE A MAN OF YOUR PERSONAL GRATIFACTION TO HAVE HAD THE MOST SUPER TIME!!!

FIRSTLY ALSO I MUST SAY TO YOU THAT I AM NOT DEALING WITH YOUR TAXIS, AS VICTOR IS THE BOSS AT THE TAXIS REFUNDING AND I AM HERE TO ASSURE.  AND TO GIVE ADVISE AS OFTEN THAT IS WHAT WE HERE DO WHEN WE ARE NOT TAXIS REFUNDING.

FIRSTLY IN ADVISING I HAVE A STATEMENT:: MAKING YOUR MONEY (TAXIS) WORK FOR YOU!!!

THIS IS A SIMPLY STATEMENT THAT I GIVE YOU, BUT IS THE IMPORTANT INFORMATION ALSO.  FIRSTLY WE MUST REMEMBER TO ALWAYS FOLLOW THIS RULE.  AND I CAN HELP THIS, WITH FANTASTIC INVESTMENT OPPURTUNITIES FOR YOUR TAXIS, SO THAT WE CAN :: MAKING YOUR MONEY (TAXIS) WORK FOR YOU!!!  SO FIRSTLY, IF YOU NEED THE INVESTMENTS THEN YOU MUST KNOW THAT YOU CAN COME TO US FOR HELP.  AND WE ARE ALWAYS 200 PERSENT ON YOUR SIDE.  FIRSTLY YOU SAY :: WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME TAXIS???:  AND WE HAVE BEEN SAYING THE ASNWERS TO YOU.  THEN AFTER THE ANSWERS WE ARE SAYING TO YOU ::  WHY WOULD WE BE GIVING YOU TAXIS FOR YOU TO WASTE THEM?!!!  WE ARE THE EXPERTS WITH ALL OF THE INFORMATIONS INCLUDING STOCKS, CHAIRS, GOLDS AND THE OTHER THINGS.  WE CAN TELL YOU WHEN CHAIRS GO UP, EVEN BEFORE THEY ARE GOING UP.  WE CANNOT BE TELLING YOU HOW, BUT WE MUST FIRSTLY REMEMBER :: MAKING YOUR MONEY (TAXIS) WORK FOR YOU!!!

IF YOU NEED THE INFORMATIONS THEN DO NOT HESITATE THE CONTACT.  WHEN THE GOLDS ARE GOING UP, WE MUST TAKE THEM :: MAKING YOUR MONEY (TAXIS) WORK FOR YOU!!!  IN THE CONTACT MAKE SURE TO HAVE ALL THE INFORMATIONS, SUCH AS WHETHER YOU PREFER TO HAVE GOLDS OR CHAIRS, HOW MUCH MONEY (TAXIS) YOU NEED TO INVESTMENT, YOUR BANK DETAILS AND SECRET QUESTIONS, YOUR PREFERED TYPE OF INVEST (GOLDS OR CHAIRS).

KINDEST AND SINCERLEY REGARDS,

G. AKAEZE

DEPUTY SIR OF VICTOR,

IN LONDON

Alas, I haven't got time to reply at the moment, but rest assured, I will endeavor to tomorrow. And one more thing: Victor has also replied to me. I will include his update tomorrow. This is getting quite amazing now, I'm even starting to think that maybe they are the pranksters, laughing at me as I think I lampoon them, when in fact they are the puppet-masters.

Whatever the case, I am looking forward to having a whole lot of taxis and chairs in the coming weeks.

db